Wednesday, April 21, 2010

DRUM ROLL PLEASE....What you´ve all been waiting for...

I’ve been negligent in posting blogs, and so I thought it was finally time that I shared something with the world. But at some point in mid to late March, things really came together here, and I’ve been feeling like this is my life – every part of it from the roosters and chickens crowing at all hours of the day along with the dogs barking at all hours of the night to visits with friends, working in communities only reachable by foot, and eating rice. Its no big trip, no study abroad, its my life. And so I felt funny about posting blogs, because more than blogs, my “posts” have turned into my personal journal. I’m a little uncomfortable about sharing that with anyone, let alone the internet. But then I decided that because I want my friends and family to know what’s happening here and I’ve done a poor job of keeping in touch with everyone the past month and a half, I would share – hope you enjoy!

So here is a summary of the past 2 months…you’ll start to notice a theme…
~ life balance or lack there of
~ changing work themes/opportunities
~ lots of time with family


February 15-16 - Carnaval
Right before Lent starts in Ecuador there is a huge party. Its called Carnaval. It’s an excuse for people to dance, hang out with family, go to the beach, get each other wet and dirty, and drink. My host family had a ton of family visiting – about 10 or more people. On Valentine’s Day I went swimming in the river behind my house with Prisci, Daniella, Deana, Luis, and Johanna – for the most part all family members. I wasn’t as excited as they were about jumping in the muddy river in my clothes, but I did it…and we had fun.

Mercedes organized a tour to the beach, San Jacinto, and so the next morning we caught the bus at about 8AM (1.5 hours late), and headed to the beach. About halfway there, water started flying, and so did the shots of cana. We spent the day at the beach, it was a lot of fun. It was crowded, and at one point the water rose up to the rocks, completely eradicating the beach; and turned the ocean into a wave pool. During the wave pool ordeal, some random guy poured a beer on my head because I refused to drink any of it.

The fun really didn’t start until the bus ride home, little did I know. Not only was water, coffee, and who knows what other liquid flying, but so was face paint. By the time we got to Lodana, my face was covered in blue, along with my tshirt and shorts. Everyone said I looked like the girl from Avatar. I’m trying to find a pic to share!


March 6, 2010

When you live anywhere long enough, you stop feeling like a visitor and start feeling like you actually belong – like you are a part of a family and a community – through the good times and bad. For the first time last night I felt more than “integrated,” I felt like I belonged. I didn’t think about work or how my actions would be perceived – I just was - a friend, me - and I didn’t think about being anywhere else. And I belonged because I shared the feeling of grief - a feeling that is more raw and cutting than any other. It is an emotion that bonds people together or tears them apart.

One of my best friend’s brother-in-laws killed himself yesterday, leaving behind a wife, 4 children, a sister, parents, and many more. I didn’t know him that well, but I know the family well, and to see them broken, broke me too. It also brought back memories of all the people I’ve lost, and the feelings of despair, hopelessness, and frustration with the unanswerable questions that follow.

This particular family has suffered so much already. They have lost their father, uncles, cousins, friends and they struggle to earn money to put food on the table. This family isn’t unique. Their story is similar to so many others in Ecuador. I wish there was something I could do, but there isn’t. The entire country is broken, people live in slums and don’t have food, sufficient housing, or clothes. Money won’t solve this; a change in culture, education, and the creation of an informed civil society is needed. How does that happen? I used to think that NGOs could help educate the people and equip them with the knowledge needed to organize and demand more from their government; but now I think NGOs only cripple development because instead of creating responsible and educated people, the people are more dependent on the NGO and unwilling to work. No desire exists to change the status quo because with handouts from the non-profits, things are still bearable.

March 14

I headed up to Quito with my 2 closest Ecuadorian friends on Thursday morning. We spent the night hanging out in Kristen’s apartment, and then Friday I went to Cayambe for a picnic with the new volunteers. I’m not the newbie anymore! I met my little brother, Naim, who is really cool and excited about being here. The picnic brought back a lot of memories, and at the same time served as a good marker to see how far I’ve come in learning Spanish, and just feeling comfortable in general living in Ecuador. I remember when volunteers came to our picnic, and some of them jumped in the back of a random pick-up truck to head to another city and I thought I would never be able to do that…but 7 months after training I can and do and its completely normal to me.

Saturday I went to Cotacachi with 2 other friends and volunteers to hike around Laguna Cuicocha. It took us about 4.5 hours to walk around the whole thing. It was beautiful – check out the pics. The lake was created by the crater of a volcano. Hiking in altitude is no joke! I was sucking wind, and my calves were burning, and I was only at about 3,500 m. It felt so good to be in nature, away from everything. I needed to just get away and not think, and being up there, hearing the wind and the water was perfect.

March 16

I got home from Quito yesterday morning, and it felt good to be home. Maria greeted me through her window, Mercedes came around the house to give me a hug, and when I went in the front door, I could hear Abuelita in the back asking Maria and Mercedes where I went. She greeted me with a hug and kiss on the cheek, and gave me a recap of what I had missed on the ranch. After a nap, I headed back into PV to run errands, feeling tired and depressed. But lastnight, I started to feel better after another conversation with abuelita about her parents. We were talking while she was using canamanabita – alcohol – and a knife to try and relieve some of the pressure on her leg after a tire fell on it, causing it to swell. She had looked for a frog earlier to run its belly over her leg, but couldn’t capture one, so was hoping the cana and knife would do the trick.

I’ve been in a bit of a rut lately. I’m frustrated with work, I miss home, and I’m getting annoyed with Ecuadorian culture, but after jumping rope this morning for 30 minutes and after the conversations with abuelita I realized I’m feeling better. A conversation with Patricia lastnight helped too, because it made me realize that I’m struggling with the same questions that she is about how to make a project sustainable, and what we can do to make a difference. I know I’m no superhero who has all the answers, but to be reminded that no one else does either makes me feel a little better. And Doritos. And summiting Cotopaxi. That is a goal of mine, which is measurable and in my control. If I work hard, I should be able to summit, and that feeling of accomplishment is something I miss so much and need to feel good. I am American – goal driven and results oriented. And I love Doritos.


March 26, 2010

Its pouring rain, a much desired refreshment after the unbearably hot day, and we lost power (which I had spelled pour until just checking – as my Spanish improves, my English gets worse!). I’m sure we’ll lose water any minute too, but luckily I already showered! This week the youth group’s in all of Plan Internacional’s communities ran summer camps. I helped out with the camp in Los Tillales and Miraflores. It was a blast – I love working with kids. We played a bunch of games, drew pictures, and taught them about the environment and the need to take care of it. The kids were really good in Los Tillales, had a good time, and learned something. The kids in Miraflores were another story…there were so many of them, and they were too young to understand or appreciate most of the lessons. SO the jovenes mostly played games with them. But today for the closure, both groups performed a play about the environment – the song is still stuck in my head.

I’ve also been working on a proposal for the Committee to try and help them get funding. The latest drama with them is that the mayor withdrew all support and hired new health promoters, who have no previous experience, to work in the same communities as the Committee. He also took away the car we used to have to visit all of the communities, but recently agreed to give us a car 3 times a month. In turn, the Committee has to allow the new health promoters to participate in all of their workshops and educational stuff. I call BS on this little arrangement. So we’ll have to see what can be done about that…best if I say no more.

I had this breakthrough the other night about doing a project on childhood nutrition. I know it doesn’t sound like a breakthrough, but after all of the possibilities and the ups and downs I’ve had, the Committee has had, and everything, this theme fits perfectly and I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before. The proposal requires a lot of detail, and I’m struggling a bit with some of the budget details, but overall it’s coming together. It’s turning into more of a parenting class than just about nutrition. I hope I can finish the proposal in the next week, get some people to look it over and correct my horrible Spanish grammar, and sell it to the Committee. It means more work for everyone, but at the same time, if the Committee wants to sustain itself, it’s a step that must be taken, and its better for the families in the communities because they’ll be learning. Hopefully we can get some funding for the project, and then we can also start to work on organizational reform. Or at least build in organizational skills into this project.

I did the first taller on organizational development at the end of February. It went well, all thanks to the help of Patricia who stepped in and got the people motivated. We did some team building activities and talked about what everyone wanted to get out of the Committee. We didn’t have enough time to get into the roles of everyone, something I planned on doing, and so we saved that for the next meeting. But in the meantime, all the shit hit the fan with the alcalde, so we’re putting that stuff on hold until we can sustain some kind of project.


April 21, 2010 – Part A

Right after Easter I went to Guayaquil for a workshop on HIV/AIDS. Washington has finally decided to bump up the priority of HIV prevention in Latin and South America…not really sure what they were waiting for, but anyway…PC Ecuador applied to start a HIV/AIDS program and was accepted. We have a group of volunteers coming in June to specifically work in the area of HIV/AIDS and are opening an office in the big bad city of Guayaquil, where HIV rates are the highest in the country. In the meantime, Washington wants PCVs in the field already to prioritize HIV prevention, so they paid for this awesome workshop in a beautiful hotel in Guayaquil for volunteers interested and already working or planning on working in the area. I’m not doing anything with HIV yet, but I want to start a program in colegios or the communities here with youth groups, so I went, and Patricia Chavez, Pres of my community came with me.

A big HIV organization here, VIHDA ran the workshop, as we’ll basically be replicating the program they helped to create. The idea is to work with youth to help them develop life skills – public speaking and facilitating, confidence to stand up to peer pressure, self-identity and life plan, etc. – and through these skills talk about HIV and AIDS = what is it, really; how it can be prevented (VIHDA unlike Plan includes abstinence and fidelity as 2 methods of prevention, which you would think is a no brainer, but its not); how it affects your body; how you can find out if you’re infected; and human rights and the rights of people living with the virus. My job now is to replicate the workshop with a group of students who are leaders – about 20 – and then have them replicate the workshops during classes so the entire colegio or institution receives the information.

There are 2 colegios in Sucre, so I want to start with Colegio Gonzalo hopefully in June, and then with Colegio Sucre in August or September. This is the kind of project I want to do – I like the topic, I like the audience, I think its important for people to learn, and I think there is a real lack of information on the issue.

In other news, the Committee is falling apart. After having my “breakthrough” on a project, another light went off, this time on the opposite side of my head and had a completely different message. This one said, why in the hell would we develop a project in the space of childhood nutrition when that is exactly what a government organization, INFA, is doing, and in what the municipio intends to become more involved. INFA and the municipio have made it blatantly clear that they do not want to work with the Committee, so why would we compete for resources with them? We’d be picking a fight we will never win. Hence, there is no reason for the Committee to exist as they have defined themselves thus far. The opportunities could be endless – the communities need a lot in terms of health prevention and education – but its SO hard to get anywhere with this group of people. I was trying to drive the Committee the entire time that I’ve been here, but I really think it can’t be done. I’m not giving up so much as accepting the reality. Instead of fighting with them, I want to focus my limited time and energy in areas where I can get something done. The Committee is at a point where they need to define a project and figure out what they’re going to do, or they won’t exist. Delivering nutrients to communities isn’t going to cut it anymore, nor should it in my opinion.

April 21, 2010 – Part B
They say you’ll change living abroad for 2 years, that when you go home things will be different. But I wonder how much I’ve changed already or will change. I don’t feel like I’ve changed. I think I have more patience and am more tolerant and giving, but “me” – the person I am hasn’t changed. I know what I like and what I don’t like; I know what I want to do, how I want to do it and when. I have more knowledge – I am living my dream and learning what it is like to be in a developing country – so I will go home with a better understanding of this and experience.
I’ll also go home having had amebas at least once and fuetazo – DISCLAIMER: this description is not for people with weak stomachs, Scott, make sure you don’t have food around – Fuetazo is a gross skin infection caused by irritation from a bug’s urine. Yes, I said urine. A bug peed on my face and it looked like I had rug burn under my chin that kept growing and started turning white, then spread to my chin and made it all dry and blotchy brown. Not to worry, I have cream and things seem to be under control. Luckily those are the worst 2 medical conditions I’ve had so far…besides the 2 or 3 times I puked from adjusting to the food and water, which seems like nothing.

Part of me has this expectation that I need to develop some “big” project, but when it comes down to it, I don’t want to. I’m not interested in that, and because I’m not interested should be the end of it. I’m only here a limited amount of time – I need to do the things that I think will be valuable and helpful and am interested in doing. More importantly than what I’m interested in, I don’t think giving charlas works. I know its important to get information to people, but when they are like rocks and nothing is absorbed, can you say that the information reached anyone? Just because we’re up there talking, doesn’t mean anyone is learning. In the majority of charlas I’ve given or attended, people don’t listen and they don’t learn. I know that means changing the delivering, the method, and I think charlas need to be more interactive. But these people are all charlad out. I’ve always like working better on an individual level, and I perform better on that level. I need to accept the fact that I’m not going to change and I need to start taking advantage of my talents instead of trying to change the world. I never thought I would be able to change the world, but I did come in here guns ablazin, thinking that I could re-organize the Committee while developing another project for them to do; while managing the pen-pal program; starting something in schools; publishing a magazine…etc, etc. I’m almost finally realizing that I need to pick 2 things to work on, because in order for anything to happen, it requires other people, and when other people are involved it means waiting, it means working through completely different goals and expectations and visions. That takes time. Its not like multitasking in the states, where everyone is basically on the same page – you have your to do list and you get it done. I’m always on a page sola here.

Even when I think I’ve clicked with someone, and we’ve had a breakthrough, a few days pass and its like so did that moment and we start over from square one – starting with the misunderstanding. I’m not sure if the misunderstanding can be blamed on culture, or if its just a major difference of opinions. So I’m in 10 months…have I changed?

Next up: Ecuadorian Gladiators Mud-Water Rugby-Polo. For now all you need to know is that Las Gringas dominated the game, niimporta that we were playing mostly against 12 year old boys…

Friday, February 5, 2010


Delicious and Nutritious All Natural Honey!


A Walnut Heart

A Day of Planting...and Fun






The Fam Before a 15th Birthday Party - Dressed to the Nine´s!


Salinas for ReConnect


Time for Some Pictures


February Has Begun, and With it Comes More Rain and Bug Bites

Its hard to believe the last blog I wrote was before Christmas, and more than 2 months have gone by without an update from me. Well, if you check my blog regularly like I know some of you do (I love you Julia), you’re in luck today. I’ve got a lot to say.

First, I’m sitting in my house and I can’t find the last blog post I wrote, and since there is no internet here, its not like I can just jump online and check out what I wrote. So…I’m just going to start.

Andrew and I had an amazing trip together. It was so nice for me to get out of the campo and into a Hilton. I treated myself to a massage, hot shower, hot bath, and jumped up and down on the bed like a little kid – I was so happy to see something so big and clean and comfortable. We walked the Malecon in Guayaquil and went to Las PeƱas. If Andrew ever sends me the pictures from that day, I’ll post them.
From GQ we came back to my site for a few days, and Andrew got to experience campo life. Turns out when he got back home he was diagnosed with poison ivy, better than the scabies he convinced himself he had. Don’t let this scare you from visiting! I’ve never had poison ivy or skin problems, only amoebas  From my site we headed to the beach for New Years and stayed in a quiet hostel, practically having the entire beach to ourselves. We watched a bunch of movies, swam in the ocean and the pool, went for runs on the beach, ate great food, and went horseback riding. It was perfect.

Getting back to site after seeing Andrew off at the airport was really hard. I was pretty down in the dumps the next week, but I left for Salinas with my counterpart on January 10th for a meeting with PC and that took my mind off of Andrew. The meeting in Salinas was my omnibuses first “reconnect,” where a bunch of volunteers get together with their counterparts to brainstorm ideas for projects and how to actually develop one, and share the results of the interviews we all had to do in our communities.

The trip was a great opportunity for Nelly and I to bond. We were forced to listen to each other without distractions and hammer out a proposal for a project. She finally understood that because I did my interviews with the Committee of Volunteers I wanted my project to be about them, about making their committee stronger, ultimately benefiting families in communities around our canton; not necessarily a project like Corazon Feliz. I really believe that we can’t move forward with more information and expect the volunteers to participate in another project without first bringing some order into view. Right now, the volunteers and health promoters receive charlas from a doctor once a month that are supposed to be replicated in communities, but in reality no one listens to the doctor let alone gathers people in their community to share the information with them. I believe a lot of this has to do with the fact that some volunteers have received minimal education and aren’t comfortable giving a charla on health topics. They don’t have self-confidence.
After Salinas, I presented my results to the health promoters to try and get them bought into my idea before presenting it to the entire committee, and for the very first time since I’ve been here, I think they finally listened to me and understood what I was saying, and even better, were in agreement with me. I’ve never been happier to hear “tienesrazon” than with the health promoters 2 weeks ago. I shared the results with the whole committee last Wednesday, and the volunteers there agreed with my conclusions also, and so we agreed to have the first taller about business organization – job descriptions, defining a mission, goals, and specific objectives, etc - on February 24th. I also want to work on team building and enhance the volunteers’ confidence. This is a project I never anticipated doing, but one that I am happy to be involved with despite my frustrations. I’m getting better at looking for the little victories in everyday, like the use of minutes during our meeting to control the time people have to babble about their personal feelings concerning a topic that may or may not be related to the Committee.

I do however, continue to be frustrated on a daily basis when I have to work with the promoters because it takes them forever to do anything, and they can never all concentrate on the same thing at once. Its like being in a classroom of 10 year olds. BUT, I am starting to feel like I’m bonding with them too. Nelly’s daughter turned 15 last week, and so we celebrated her quince ano last night. We danced, joked around, I understood them and they understood me, and Petita called me this morning to go to another dance with her this afternoon, which may sound lame, but made me really happy even though I couldn’t go.

I’ve also decided that the only way to get more involved with the youth in my community is to offer to teach English classes, as much as I dread the idea and said I would never do it. I can’t think of any other way to incentivize the kids to come to my house and participate in a project. My plan is to draw them in with English, but use the time as an opportunity to do other things as well. I want to basically have a summer camp. I think it would be awesome. I really need to get on it, and fortunately we have a community meeting this Wednesday so I’ll be able to talk to all the mom’s there about classes and start making my rounds in the community. Too bad people don’t have email here and I can’t just shoot out a meeting request on outlook.

On a more personal/social update, I had an awesome birthday. Ali came over, my family cooked a chicken, colored rice and broccoli! Ali and I watched Bride Wars that night, which made me a little homesick, but overall it was great. Then on Friday some of the nurses and doctors in the Centro de Salud took me out for lunch and bought me an ice cream cake. I’m working with Dr. Velez every Tuesday or Thursday in my community – she started a hypertension control and I’m talking with youth about HIV/AIDS and just getting to know everyone better. So because I’m seeing this doctor more often, who is awesome, and I’m dropping by the Centro de Salud more often, I’m becoming good friends with a group of women there. We celebrated another birthday last week of one of the nurse’s. The women are really nice and I have fun with them, it reminds me of being in a work environment at home.

Anyway, there are more birthday updates…so that night, January 22nd, Marisela and Dolores had a surprise party for me! I had absolutely no idea they were going to throw me a party, I thought we were going out in Sucre. But when I got to their house, people jumped out from behind the door, flicked the lights on just like any good ole fashioned surprise party. They decorated the house for me, had dinner, and a cake. I was literally shocked because this family doesn’t have money and to throw a party for someone is a big deal. We danced until about 2AM, on the early side for Ecuadorians, but perfect for me. I wish I had the words in Spanish to express to them my gratefulness. As soon as I have a cocineta and am able to make dinner on my own, I’m going to invite them over.

So…that is how I started my 27th year on this earth. I’ve decided without really thinking that this is going to be the year of ME. I’m going to stop caring what people think, I’m going to work hard and concentrate on my projects and make them happen. This is the only full year of my life that I’ll have in Ecuador, I’ve got to make it count.

Random Observations/Thoughts:

1. Tomorrow is already February! I’ve lost track of how long I’ve been here and stopped counting down to my COS date, instead the days, weeks, and months continue rolling by.

2. Class distinctions in a town of 130 families. It blows my mind the division that exists in this community because of money, when everyone is living without clean drinking water, hot running water, paved roads, and either has a machete on them at all times, or keeps one in their house and uses it on a daily basis. Ultimately lacking all things we as Americans consider modern and are living in poverty – the majority of the people living in my canton earn less than $2 a day.
Also, there is a huge divide between Los Tillales afuera (outside) and adentro (inside), the very same community separated by a river during the rainy season. Los Tillales adentro in general is much poorer than Los Tillales afuera. The majority of families live in cana houses as opposed to mudubi and their living conditions or worse.

There really is no sense of community, or at least not like I expected. I thought everyone would get along, want to help each other, but I guess this is another example of how people are the same everywhere. No matter how poor you are in world standings, when you don’t know anything but how you’ve been living, its easy to see how the person with the brand new roof in the biggest house that sits above all the others is like the person living inside a mansion in the states.

Small town politics and class distinctions don’t go away because people are living in poverty. These people know they don’t have much money, that they can’t always afford the things they want, but because this is all they’ve ever known, they don’t know how poor they are – they have no idea what the world is like outside of their community.

My family is amazed at my descriptions of what its like to be in an airplane. Abuelita can’t read, neither can Edgar. But at the end of the day, none of that matters, because they are amazing people who are always willing to help, even though they are fighting to get through everyday. Sometimes when I’m with them, they drive me crazy. But when I’m away from them, I remember how strong and caring they are, and how they have had no choice but to make lemonade from the lemons they’ve been given and continue living their lives, enjoying the simple things like family and friends, and finding something to laugh about everyday. They drive me crazy, but they are an example to me everyday of how I want to and should be living my life. I will leave here having learned more from them than I have taught, of this I’m sure.


Sembraring – I almost forgot to mention that I planted corn and peanuts 2 weeks ago. I went with Maria and Priscila and some other people to our neighbor’s plot of land. We left at 6AM, broke for lunch and finished around 12:30PM. I was impressed at the speed with which we planted – the area was big. I need to go back to get a picture of the whole thing, but here are the pics I took that morning. We all had a great time. We did everything completely by hand, from making the holes to dropping in the seeds. I learned how to drop the seeds into the little holes standing perfectly straight, along with some bad words in Spanish 